10 Signs You’ve Found The One

The one thing that everyone wants in life, no matter your age, color, wealth or background is love. Whether it is from friendship, family or romance, it’s an important part of a happy life. For most of us that desire for love is especially coveted in the romantic sense.

When I was a little girl, I dreamed of who I would marry. I wondered what he would be like. I fantasized about what he would look like. Oh, the plans I had for our wonderful fairy tale life together.

Unfortunately, there was a detour called a failed marriage along the way. But it taught me a lot about what I did and didn’t want in a future mate. To take heed to the red flags. And to never settle for less than I deserved again.

And just as I had vowed to stop looking all together, my true soul mate finally came along. You are allowed second chances in this thing called love, after all. How did I know that he was my prince charming and not just another “frog?” How can you know? Here are 10 signs that you’ve found “The One.”

1. You Don’t Have To Force It

If you find yourself trying to put a “square peg into a round hole” with your relationship, run for the hills! The right person will be an easy fit into your life. It will be natural. You won’t have to be filled with worry, stress or fight an uphill battle just to stay together. Every relationship takes hard work and effort, but there is a difference between “work” and fruitless struggle. If it’s meant to be, it will happen.

*When I met my husband, everything felt smooth and peaceful. We spent our time working on making us better rather than just trying to keep it together. Our relationship was uncomplicated from the very beginning and we perfectly blended into each other’s lives.

2. You Can Be Yourself

You should feel comfortable with the person that’s right for you. You should be appreciated for who you are, not who someone wants you to be. Never be afraid to be the real “you.” The right person will think “you” are awesome.

*I immediately felt at ease with my guy. I remember looking at him early on and thinking: ”This feels like “home.” I had never had that sense of comfort before with anyone.

I didn’t try to hide that I was a quirky little introvert who had a hard time opening up to people. I didn’t dress up in full make up and heels at the beginning just for him to later find out I was more of a Plain Jane. He saw the real me from the start and he accepted me. And if he didn’t like what he saw, I was fully ready to move on. When you’re dating in your 30s with a busy life and a young daughter to take care of, “ain’t nobody got time for that!”

3. You Want To Be A Better Person

Your soul mate should bring out the best in you. And make you want to be the person they deserve, because they have proven themselves to be deserving of you. When it’s right, you will be inspired to become the best version of you. Not walking around grumping about how you’re too good for them or feeling as if you’re giving too much of yourself with nothing in return.

*I am treated so well that I constantly feel like I need to step up my game. My partner is so good to me that it makes me strive to be better to him. His patience makes me want to be more patient. His love makes me want to show him more love. Remember, your soul mate should bring out the best in you, not the stress in you.

4. They Make Adjustments For You

If you find yourself doing all the adjusting and compromising in your relationship, something is wrong. You deserve someone who thinks of you and your needs often and doesn’t expect the world to revolve around them. Love requires give and take and you need to feel as if the person in your life is willing to think of you first sometimes.

*Early in our relationship, I told my future husband that I didn’t want to go out very often during the work week. I would have to take my daughter out to a babysitter and didn’t want her out late just to get her up early the next morning.

Not only was that not an issue, he promptly offered to have “movie dates” at my house every Tuesday and Thursday and we would save going out for the weekends. It made my dating life so much easier and it showed me that he was committed to making this work.

5. You Can Disagree With Each Other, But No One Goes For The Jugular

Everybody has fights. It’s a natural part of a relationship to disagree and get annoyed with your significant other. But when you argue, it should always remain respectful. You will both know when to walk away before it gets too nasty, because you don’t want to hurt each other. If the person you are with says things to intentionally hurt or wound you, or they use things you’ve told them in confidence against you; they demean you or call you insulting names because they were “angry”, that person is not for you.

*My husband and I don’t argue often, but when we do, we are both constantly aware of our ability to get heated when provoked. One of us will end the argument when we know we’ve reached our tipping point. We don’t want a temporary disagreement to cause permanent damage.

6. They Really Love You

No, I mean really love you. They make you feel like you are truly valued, wanted, loved and cherished consistently. Not just by saying the words “I love you”, but by their actions. By the way they treat you. You should never have to doubt or wonder if the person you want to spend your life with truly loves you or not. You should feel it everyday.

*I am loved in a way that I didn’t even know was possible. He shows me in a thousand different ways, big and small, and I never have to question it. Our love for each other has only grown stronger with the passage of time.

7. You Have More Than A Physical Attraction

When the initial rush of lusty feelings eventually die down (and they will), you will find yourself in need of something more than a physical attraction to sustain your relationship for the long term. Your person should be able to make you laugh when you’re having the worst day ever. You will enjoy each other’s company just doing nothing. You can talk for hours about everything under the sun and reveal your deepest, darkest secrets with no fear of judgment.

*My husband and I are really good friends. Seriously. If we weren’t romantically involved, I’d still want to be friends with the guy. I love spending time with him.  I genuinely like him as a person. And he gets me. He really gets me.

8. You Both Want The Same Things

Sounds simple, but it can turn unnecessarily complicated. You need to be headed in the same direction in your finances, your life goals, what you want out of your relationship. You should be on the same path spiritually, mentally and emotionally. Never sacrifice yourself or your dreams for someone else.

*I can honestly say we have been in sync with each other from day one. From our desire for a bigger family, to our vision for the future, we have always wanted the same things out of life.

9. They Are Truly Interested In You

They will care about what’s bothering you when you’re upset. They will ask questions about your day. They will be invested in you and your well-being and happiness.

*My husband always says “Happy Wife, Happy Life.” He wants me to be content and satisfied in every aspect of our life together. He wants to know what I’m thinking or what I’m up to. He supports my dreams and seeks to make my life better.

10. Tough Times Make You Stronger

If you are with someone long enough, you will most likely encounter challenges or difficult times that may have nothing to do with the relationship itself, but will have a powerful impact on your lives together. When you have found “the one,” tough situations will draw you together, not tear you apart. You will be able to lean on each other, support each other, and be the rock that the other needs to get through anything that life may throw at you.

*My spouse and I have been through some pretty serious situations and challenges that some couples never experience. We have found a deeper love for each other that we never expected, a bond that has grown by leaps and bounds and we’ve learned that we can get through anything as long as we have each other.

It may not be easy to wait for the right person, but it is so worth it. I’ve made some mistakes along the way. But when I truly realized my self-worth, I decided that I was willing to grow old alone rather than to waste life with the wrong person ever again. That’s when the cosmos aligned and the man I had been waiting for walked through the door. And the rest, as they say, is history.

Featured image © Dennis Skley