Family Vacation Quiz Show

It’s that time again, folks. Kids are out of school, the weather’s nice and the days are longer. This is the season of the family vacation. Think you’ve got what it takes to survive traveling with young kids? Let’s play a little game called the Family Vacation Quiz Show!

You are about a 12-hour drive from your destination. Do you:

a. Fly

b. Drive

You picked a? You’ve won a quick trip to your destination with hopefully the worst issue being ear popping and fidgety children. But, if you have a baby, you will now have to deal with trying to change said baby in the claustrophobic confines of the teeny-tiny airplane bathroom. That is assuming they have a changing table. You could also try doing it at your seat and risk the wrath of your fellow passengers.  Oh, and depending on how big your family is, you may have just spent a boatload of cash for plane tickets. Congratulations!

You picked b? Well you’ve just won a 12-hour car trip that has now turned into an 17-hour car trip because of food, gas, and potty breaks.  Oh, you just stopped at a rest stop 45 minutes ago? Silly you! Your daughter didn’t actually go because she didn’t have the urge and she just finished drinking a large amount of liquid that you told her to save half of for later. Oh and junior has diarrhea and you now have to stop at every single rest stop the rest of the way to change him and get rid of the stinkiest diapers on earth.

And you get a bonus prize! You now have whiny, restless children who are fighting with each other and calling your name every 5 minutes!! Ding, ding, ding!

You get to your hotel or condo. Your 2 year-old is afraid to sleep in a new bedroom by himself. Do you:

a. Put him in a bedroom with a sibling

b. Let him sleep with you

c. Insist he sleeps in the new room by himself

You chose a? You’ve won kids staying up half the night giggling and goofing off. They will eventually fall asleep, but not until quite late. You will have very tired and cranky children in the morning.

Picked b? You’ve got yourself a restless kid in between you and your spouse, so no boom boom in the Champagne Room for you tonight!

Went with c did ya? You now have a child who will cry for hours, keeping everyone up until eventually wearing himself out and dozing off to sleep.

It’s dinnertime. You have a baby who’s due for a feeding. Do you:

a. Go to the restaurant you’ve been wanting to visit because of all the great Yelp reviews and hope he stays sleeping.

b. Go to the restaurant and resign yourself to feeding and eating at the same time?

c. Go back to your hotel and eat there because it’s just not worth the hassle.

You picked a? Congratulations! You lucked out today. The baby oversleeps and lets you have a peaceful meal!! (The prize could be different for each contestant because babies are extremely unpredictable).

b? I’m sorry. You will be looking at your food longingly while feeding your baby. By the time you get done feeding and burping, your food is now cold and disgusting. Or you will be wasting half of it on your lap as you clumsily try to hold a baby, a bottle and shove food into your mouth with your free hand. (Wah-wah-waaaah…)

c? You get to eat after you feed your baby, so you do get warm food. But you’re back at the hotel and not the restaurant, so…

You are exploring the area. Your toddler poops in his pants. Do you:

a. Keep going. Ain’t nobody got time for that!

b. Look for the nearest bathroom.

Chose a? You are now walking around slightly embarrassed, wondering if people passing by can smell the stench of the foul creature that is your child. You also feel guilty for letting this child sit or walk around in his own filth. (Wah-wah-waaahhh…)

Chose b? You spend too much of your limited and valuable time digging through your diaper bag for the wipes, arguing with your spouse about who should change him because he’s still young enough to go to the women’s or men’s bathrooms, and searching around for this bathroom and praying to god that’s it’s clean.

You’re enjoying the day and you aren’t ready to call it quits just yet. But it is getting dangerously close to the kids’ bedtime. Do you:

a. Stay out. You’re on vacation! They can stay up late tonight!

b. End the day early so that you can put the kids to bed on time.

You picked a? Well, you’ve won an extended day of fun and then holy terrors for the entire next day because the kids are off schedule and didn’t get enough sleep!

Went with b? Kids are well rested, but you’re done for the day at 7:00 pm, bored and watching tv, wishing you were out painting the town red.

You and your spouse are done for the day at 7:00 pm, bored and watching tv, wishing you were out painting the town red. Do you:

a. Go out on the balcony with a glass of wine and stay up late enjoying some much needed alone time.

b. Go to sleep at a decent hour.

a? Good for you and your spouse. Unfortunately, the kids will still get up at the crack of dawn, you don’t get to sleep in and now you’re dragging butt and tired the next day.

b? You got some good sleep. Congratulations?

Well, everyone. That’s the end of the today’s show. Here’s hoping you picked wisely and walked away with some nice prizes. Til next time, America!

*Some of these topics may or may not have been ripped from my own personal experiences. It may also have something to do with why I refuse to take another extended, long distance vacation until all the children are sleeping through the night, feeding themselves and wiping their own butts.

Featured Image Kiran Foster