I Want A Sister Wife

Sister wives. It’s what the wives are called in a polygamist marriage who are married to the same man. Somehow, this seems to work out pretty well. For the guys at least. Honestly, I wouldn’t mind having a sister wife too. Well not for me. For my husband of course. But in my version, this new addition to our family would be more sister than wife.

In my family, this sister wife would do all the cooking. Fancy, delicious home cooked meals every night. She would help the kids with their homework, school projects and go to all parent teacher conferences. On second thought, I might decide to home-school them, since I won’t have to deal with it. Dirty diapers? Sister wife to the rescue! Sick children up all night? Oh, sister wife! She can also go through my Pinterest saves and complete all the projects I’ve been meaning to do.

If my husband and I want more children, she could even be the surrogate. I love having children and all, but pregnancy is pretty rough on me. I would be open to one or two more if a sister wife would carry them for me. And of course do the nighttime feedings once they’re born. Don’t worry, I will still take care of and love them. But she can do the less pleasant parts.

Wait. I guess I’m being selfish here. I’m neglecting her “wifely” duties and forgetting about the benefits for my husband in all this. So, if he has any work related stresses or wants to complain about anything that I am doing “wrong” or that is annoying him, his new sister wife can be there to listen. If there are any work events that he needs a spouse to be super social for, she can go to that too. And she can dine with him when he’s in the mood for seafood, since I detest it and he always complains that it’s no fun eating it alone.

But I do have one condition. This new wife would not be allowed to have any marital relations with my husband. I have no intentions of sharing him in that way. This is my fantasy after all, not his. No kissing, hugging, touching or any type of physical affection. Except maybe a pat on the back for a job well done. A man can never get enough of that. I know this is a lot to ask of a dear future sister wife. But there is truly someone for everyone and I know she’s out there. Ready to do my, I mean, the Lord’s work.

So, if you are extremely unattractive (can’t have the hubby lusting after you), smart, a good cook and looking to join a loving family and do all the dirty work with no real rewards, let me know. And remember, the husband is off limits. Heck, a lot of marriages end up sexless anyway, so let’s just fast forward to that part. And if it works out, we might even get our own show on TLC! Any takers?