It’s Me or the Dog!
A more appropriate title probably should be: “That Time I Thought My Husband Loved the Dogs More Than Me.” Dogs have been a sensitive subject around this house at times. Combining a dog lover (my husband) with someone who was not as enthusiastic about dogs (me) has been interesting to say the least.
Here are the top 5 dumbest battles we’ve had over the dogs.
1. The Dogs Got the Best Seat in the House
Early in our relationship, my husband had a favorite couch he liked to lay on. One of the dogs, Domino, would always be called up to lay on the couch and cuddle with him and Izzy would be laying on the floor at the other end (with constant petting). This was the guy that said he didn’t like to be crowded. Needed his “space”. Wasn’t the touchy-feely type. My daughter and I would look at this display and be fuming. We would give each other looks like “You see this?” As we sat across from them watching this daily love fest, I couldn’t take it anymore. It was time to have a talk.
I told him I was tired of being banished to the other side of the room while he spent most of his evenings with the dogs. The humans in the house were not getting the same love and attention and we weren’t gonna take it anymore! Yes, my daughter and I were jealous of four-legged animals. My poor daughter had become Jan from the Brady Bunch and she constantly complained about “Marsha, Marsha, Marsha!” Or rather Domino, Domino, Domino. After much denial and accusations of my overreacting, he agreed to keep the dogs off the furniture and be more attentive to the humans in his life. The dogs still got plenty of attention and we actually got to sit next to dad sometimes. Progress had been made. But the drama did not end there. On to the bedroom.
2. No Room in the Inn, I mean the Bed
The two dogs also had full bed access. The hubby would usually go to bed before me, so I would come upstairs to these huge dogs sprawled all over my side of the bed. Izzy would at least move, but the Queen Bee (aka Domino) wouldn’t budge. She would go limp as I tried to drag her off my side of the bed and she was too heavy for me to move. Instead of getting to relax after a long day and go to sleep, I went through this every single night until I would have to wake my husband up to get him to move her for me. And when she did get moved, she often slept between us. Once again, this was not working.
I acknowledged that I was coming in asking for changes. But I had to change my life too. I missed the times during my single days when my daughter slept in bed with me on the weekends, or after a nightmare or thunderstorm. But he didn’t want squirmy little kiddies in his bed. And I didn’t want big, hairy dogs in mine. So if my kid couldn’t be in bed with us, it was time for his “kids” to get off too. They still got to sleep in the room, even though I spent most nights sneezing and sniffling because of my allergic reactions to Izzy. I even put up with his flatulence. But no more bed. Reluctantly, another battle was over.
3. I Said Domino was Stinky
This is apparently something I should NEVER say to my husband. The dog had been messing around in something smelly in the yard, hadn’t been bathed in a while, and she had begun to stink up any room she was in. So, I told my husband she was stinky. Suddenly, he got really upset, saying I was always saying bad things about her and pointing out the negative. I had a problem with the dogs from the beginning and “blah, blah, blah.” Dude, I said the dog smells and needs a bath, not that we should send her to the pound. He had suddenly become me! Letting loose about something else that was bothering him and bringing it up during an unrelated discussion. Yes! I shall store this in my back pocket for future use.
4. Baby Drool v. Dog Drool
When our son was a baby, he drooled and slobbered. A lot! He was a messy baby, as all babies are. My husband was very bothered by the puddles of slop left on him and would almost immediately hand the baby off to me. He would rush to change clothes or wash up. I knew he was a new dad and wasn’t used to the mess of babies (which can be icky). But I’d seen the dogs licking all over him many times. And Izzy was a drool machine and often left some on all of us. Daily. But I never saw my hubby running to wash off or complaining about how gross it was.
One day, after another display of “gross baby” drama, I told my husband that maybe if our son was a dog, the slobber would be more pleasant. Zing! He gave me the “oh, no you didn’t look” and I knew it was on. With hormones raging, I expressed my irritation at his hypocritical behavior. I was told that dogs don’t have the ability to kiss or express themselves any other way, so that’s why he allows it. Then he threw the “dogs’ mouths are cleaner than humans” thing at me. “Domino’s been licking her butt all day! Have you seen the places they put their tongues!!” I exclaimed. It got so silly and I’m not even sure how that ended. But we have a new baby coming, so will it be round two?
5. No, Honey. You Don’t Have a Sister
The dogs are considered a part of the family. But my daughter was getting confused because the dogs were always being referred to as her sister and brother. I didn’t see any harm in it and was willing to go along with this, although I wasn’t into using these terms myself. But then my daughter told me she was telling the teachers and friends at school that she had these “siblings” (this was before her little brother). I went to a parent-teacher conference and her teacher even brought up this “sister” that turned out to be Domino.
After that, I told dad that I love the dogs, but they aren’t my “children” or my daughter’s siblings. And until she gets older and could understand, I wanted to stop saying that. Once again, I was the mean old dog hater who wanted them gone. As Charile Brown would say, “Good grief!”
We’ve had some adjusting to do over the years. He’s had to adjust to having an instant family when my daughter and I came into the picture. I had to adjust to being around some highly favored dogs. We’ve both overreacted to silly situations and I can now laugh at the things that got us both stirred up. Despite what it looks like, I never disliked or wanted to replace the dogs, I just felt the “pecking order” was a little skewed. I’ve grown to love and accept our canine companions (although Izzy now happily lives with “Nana”).
The humans now receive more love and attention and no one feels slighted or left out. Unfortunately Queen Bee (aka Domino) is still waiting for me to end this extended vacation and return to wherever I came from.
