The Jesus Music Fail

Since moving to Arizona, we’ve settled into a nice routine. We’ve been exploring new places and old. And we’ve actually found a church we like enough to call home. I’ve not been big on church after having some interesting experiences throughout my life (one of those experiences I wrote about here). But as my kids get older I really wanted them to have that church experience. They can follow whatever path they want when they get older, but at least I’ll know I gave them the exposure.

I’ve been trying to build upon the Sunday services and give them something else to listen to other than “pop” radio or YouTube videos. I thought some uplifting music might be good for the kids.

I know I’m truly old now because I have been horrified on more than one occasion while coming across what all the young folks are listening to. Song topics include popping pills and smoking weed and doing the sex and all kinds of things this mom doesn’t want her kids learning about or hearing about ever. Ever. Ever.

Now I know that my kids will sure enough go to school or get around friends and all of my helicopter mom efforts will crash and burn. But, that doesn’t mean I can’t try to shove some positivity into their brains when they’re around me.

I’ll be honest, I’m not a big listener of religious music myself. I grew up on Southern Gospel and I just assumed all Christian music sounded like that. If you like Southern Gospel, I apologize for what I’m about to say and it’s only my little opinion. But for me, it was corny and downright embarrassing. It’s so burned into my memory that I remember the station and call letters. WPOS FM 102.3.

All the songs were straight honky tonk country with people always singing about flying away to glory or “Jubilee!! Jubil-eeeee!!” Oh and something about the sweet by and by, whatever that means.

I hated when the weather got warmer because I knew mom would be picking me up and dropping me off at school with the windows down. That meant fiddles and banjos flowing from beyond the car. “Oh my God, mom!! Whyyyyy???” I would mumble as I got in the car and tried to sneak and turn the volume down. I was a black kid going to a black school and well, it was just really embarrassing. (I will say I did enjoy the talking segments. I learned a lot).

But back to my current life and situation, one day I decided to turn on a Christian music station on the television. The kids looked at me with these weird stares. I didn’t say anything as I walked away and diddled in the kitchen.

Two minutes into it my oldest shouted: “Mom, what is this?!?” It really was bad. It sounded like a mix of a pop song and commercial jingle and was way too chipper. It was big time cheese. This can’t be the first song they hear. “It’s just a little Christian music to brighten your day. Just go with it!” I responded.

A few minutes later (after a chorus of moans and groans) my 5 year old chimes in: “I don’t wanna listen to Jesus music!!! Ugh!!” By now, it was some song that was better left in the 90s, with an alternative rock sound that sounded very much past its prime. This is not going well. “Just hush and listen to the JESUS MUSIC!!! It’s not all about what you want!” I said, with slight frustration. Now I remember why I don’t listen to Christian music. This is terrible.

Maybe I should try to find some black gospel, I thought. They may like that better. I’m black, they’re black (well the boys are partially). Maybe their spirits are crying out for more soul!! No, no. They aren’t ready for that yet. I can’t introduce something totally new from what they’re used to. I mainly listen to the top 40 in the car. I need to stay in that genre.

A few songs later, it actually sounded decent. Kind of like something you’d hear on our favorite radio station. “See, it’s getting better right?” I yelled from the kitchen. My daughter shrugged and mumbled “yeah, kinda…” as she immersed herself in her book, barely paying attention. The boys however were gone. Disappeared and left me high and dry. That’s ok, I thought. They have short attention spans. It’s not the music that drove them away. Nope.

I went to put some clothes in the dryer and came back to an empty room. My daughter had scattered too. But the Jesus music was still going strong. Encouraging me to never give up. My intro to Gospel Music 101 was a bust.

I tried one more time days later, but they didn’t even make it through the first song. Since then, I’ve left the matter alone. I haven’t given up completely, I just need to come back strong next time. I can’t leave it up to a random station playing just any old thing. Maybe I’ll try to make a playlist with the best songs I can find without all the cheese and mediocre music. Hopefully it’ll be good enough to trick them into giving it a chance before they realize what it is.

No matter what, they’ll probably have their own blog to write about in 20 years about the awful music I made them listen to when they were young. But it’s too hot here in the desert to have the windows down, so at least there’s that.

Featured Image: flickr