Smells Like Teen Drama

I had a few titles I wanted to go with for the subject of this blog post, which is all about dealing with my tween (soon to be teen) and her state of never being happy about, well, anything right now. At first I was going to name it “Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness, aka Teen Drama” in honor of my Smashing Pumpkins obsession back in the nineties. But I didn’t want people thinking I didn’t know how to spell “melancholy.” Then I thought of my love for Nirvana and one of my favorites of theirs, “Smells Like Teen Spirit” and decided to go with that spin. Man, I really had a thing for grunge rock, didn’t I?? Oh, my God. Was I a moody teen too? Holy crap!

I’ve mentioned in a previous post that we are building a house in a different part of town from where we are now (that blog here). That of course means new schools. Fortunately, my daughter was already going to be changing schools, since her current school only goes up to 6th grade.

I knew my daughter wanted to go to a Middle School. It had to be a Middle School, because, like, it needs to be something separate and different, okaaaay?!? (I’m speaking in my daughter’s tongue right now because that’s all I hear in my head when I think about these things).

She REALLY made it clear that she didn’t want to go to a school with a K-8, because she didn’t want to be with babies (and by babies, she meant anyone younger than her). And no schools with uniforms, she declared. Because, like, what is a school day when she isn’t driving her mother insane with her too short, too tight or just plain crazy outfits! Fighting about that every morning makes life exciting, right? It makes us feel ALIVE!!!!

And of course, not one of those Kindergarten through High School deals. That’s just plain crazy!

There were a few schools we had as options nearby and she liked only one: the Middle School of course. But according to my research, it didn’t feel like the best school choice for her. She was bummed and continued to plead her case for this particular school.

I was stressed and confused as to what school to choose for her that would make us both happy. But one day while she was at school, I discovered that one of the brand new schools being built in our neighborhood goes from 7-10 (and will end up as a 7-12 over the next two years). This was perfect I thought! It even has High School in the name! Woo-hoo! She is going to love me!

Not only would she not be one of the oldest in the school, but the youngest. She wouldn’t have to worry about being the new kid, going into a situation where most of the kids already knew each other from elementary school. It’s a brand spanking new school. Everybody’s new! And the area we’re moving to was undeveloped 5 years ago. It was just dirt. So there won’t be any strong cliques originating from preschool that she’d have to worry about. Most of these kids are not just new to the school, but new to that area of town, just like her.

This is great! I couldn’t wait until she got home, so I could tell her the good news. Within 5 minutes of her arriving in the door, I sat her down. I knew she had been begging for me to decide, so I told her to watch a video of her soon to be new school. I waited with anticipation as she saw this half built school on the screen. We had gone to look at it the other day as we were coming from looking at our house progress.

“What school is this?” she asked (not sounding very enthused). I told her the name of the school and told her that it would be a 7-12 school! A high school with a junior high on campus! She frowned. Not a frown. That’s not good. “Oh, mah goooooshhh! A high school? So when people ask me what school I go to, I have to say (insert name of school) HIGH SCHOOL?!?” she wailed.

I was so confused. “But, but this is what you wanted right? You won’t be going to school with ‘babies!’ You will be the baby…kinda, sorta! That’s good right? No elementary school students, no uniforms, you won’t be the only new kid, because EVERYBODY’s new! And look at these programs you can be a part of…” She was not impressed.

“I don’t wanna go to a high school! I wanted to go to that Middle School!!” she whined. You have got to be effing kidding me, I thought to myself. I spent the next half hour showing her the highlights of the school and how good this would be for her. But to no avail. She did not care. Simply didn’t give a hoot. She rained all over my parade and I was over it. “Well, you’re going here and you’re gonna like it! And even if ya don’t, you’re going! End of discussion!” I said with finality.

I’ve learned one thing from this. I, mom, cannot do anything right for my tween. Every move will be wrong. Tweens and teens ain’t never happy! Ever! And I swear, you know in the bible where God was like “You shall have pain with childbirth” when he was dealing out the smackdown when Adam and Eve sinned with the apple? Well, somebody totally left out the part where he said “And when thy children becometh teens, ye shall have nothing but drama, moodiness and lots of “Oh, mah God mom, you’re like totally ruining my life!” 

Featured image credit: Flickr