The Birthday Cake Disaster

Every year, my husband makes one main request for his birthday: A Guinness Stout chocolate cake. I don’t mind fulfilling this request, because he’s such a simple guy and never asks for much. But somehow, every year it turns into some form of a disaster.

The first time I made it, I tried to make the cake exactly as the directions called for: three layers using 8″ pans. I realized last minute that I only had two 8″ pans and tried to put one layer in a 9″ pan that I would trim. Well that was a mistake as the too large layer started to crumble as I began the cutting. I ditched the oversized layer and that year the 2 layer version was born.

The following birthday, the cake was lopsided. Another year, I forgot the sugar and only realized it once I put the cake in the oven. It was pretty late in the evening and my husband found me in tears and told me not to worry about it. I offered to go to the store to get more ingredients and redo it, but he insisted I not bother. It’s the thought that counts, he told me. We ended up getting a store bought cake and I felt awful.

Just yesterday, it was my husband’s birthday again and yet another disappointing cake. This time the wax paper in the cake pan caused some slight creases and gaps in the cake and my homemade icing would not solidify in the fridge. Even after hours it remained this drippy mess. As I continued to put on the icing, it formed this puddle of chocolate around the cake. Well, at least I’m consistent in my cake failings, I thought.

I was embarrassed and when my husband saw it, of course he said it was fine. As he blew out the candles and began to eat, he said “It won’t win any awards for the prettiest cake, but it’s yummy chocolatey goodness!” My disappointment was still quite apparent. He later hugged me and told me: “You get so worked up about this cake every year! Just get a store bought one next time.”

I wanted to tell him: “Because I love you and I want to make your birthdays extra special by giving you something that you enjoy. Something that comes from my heart and that money can’t buy. Because I know that this cake brings you some sort of pleasure, even if I somehow mess it up every year and it looks pathetic and I don’t really enjoy the hassle. This cake is my way of showing my love for you!”

However, I didn’t say all that. I vowed not to make this cake again (as I do every year) and promised a store bought cake in the future. But come next year, I’ll probably be cursing the heavens going at it again. The cake does taste good and the family seems to enjoy it, despite it being the ugly duckling it often turns out to be. It just reminds me of how imperfect I am and is a direct hit to my pride.

But it also reminds me of how love and pride don’t always go together. Love and relationships are imperfect and even “messy” sometimes. Fairy tales are for the movies. Love is about showing each other how much you care, even if it doesn’t work out as you planned. And he did burn the sausage for Mother’s Day breakfast so I guess we’re even. Well, maybe after a few more years of burnt sausages.

My daughter looked at the cake yesterday and said I could start a business as a cake maker. She didn’t see how messed up it was, just the chocolate mound she couldn’t wait to eat. I got a good chuckle out of that. At least I’ll have my family to make me feel better, no matter how bad I mess up. Or at least keep me delusional about everything.

Featured Image By: Paul Downey