The Entitled Child

The other day, I was talking with my daughter about potential Halloween costumes. I zoned out as she started to ramble off the typical princess/fairy/Disney movie characters she wanted to be. However, my attention returned when she said that she didn’t just want, but she needed to get new shoes to go with her costume. When I told her I didn’t feel the need to purchase new shoes for one evening’s use, she whined that she just could not wear tennis shoes!! Life is so unfair, right?

Now this may not have bothered a parent that didn’t grow up with financial difficulties like I did. Let me describe my Halloween costume. That’s right. Costume in the singular. I was a ghost. Every. Single. Year. Here is how you transform into a “spooky” ghost when you don’t have a lot of money. Go into your closet and find an old white sheet. Put the white sheet on top of your head, covering your body. Make circles where your eyes are. Cut out circles so that you can see. Tada!! You are now a ghost for Halloween! Worried about shoes? Just make sure the sheet covers your feet. Need a bag to carry candy in? Go back in your closet, find a (preferably) white pillow case. Tada! You now have a matching bag to collect your sweets! *Costume and bags are reusable. Just store them away for next year when you’re done.

Now, I’m not a grumpy miser just because I didn’t have the world handed to me on a silver platter growing up. But I do appreciate the value of a dollar. I don’t expect to get whatever I want, when I want. And I have always been willing to put in the work to accomplish my goals. I also try not to spoil my children with material things, even though I am in a much better financial position than I was when I was a child. So when my daughter has a royal fit about not getting something that she doesn’t truly need, I have a hard time relating.

I tell her to pick up after her brother. By her reactions, you would think that I had just signed her on as an indentured servant. I tell her to clean her room. She tells me she can’t because she’s too lazy. Whaaat?? Well at least she’s honest. Which is why she now only has a handful of toys left to “ease” her burden.

She thinks because she didn’t like what I made for dinner that I will make something else. I’ve heard of parents who make multiple meals to please each child’s finicky tastes. Ain’t nobody got time for that! I certainly didn’t raise her to be this way. I think today’s children are just born like this. Maybe there’s something in the water. And it’s not just my kids. It’s kids in general who are growing up spoiled and with a sense of entitlement.

I’ve driven down multiple streets in multiple neighborhoods and I see children who are no older than 8 or 9 with smartphones. My daughter sees this and often asks when she will get her cell phone (as if it’s a given). Like clockwork, my husband will always yell “never!!” I, however, think she may need one when she starts driving and/or working. But then dad will start grumping about no kid of his will be getting a car at 16 unless they buy it and pay for the insurance themselves!! I can be a bit of a bleeding heart, so we may have to revisit or compromise on some things. But I do get and appreciate his point of view.

Kids today (yes, I’ve reached that age where I say “kids today”) are not only entitled but are downright treated with kid gloves. I live in Arizona now, but I was born and raised in Ohio. I still keep up with Toledo weather and news, because dangit, I still care! Anyway, I will see school closings in the winter and I think there must be some big blizzard. An ice storm perchance. Only to find out it’s due to cold weather. They closed the schools because it’s friggin’ cold!?! I know all parents say they walked to school in 17 feet of snow for 13 and a half miles when they were kids. But I tell you the truth! I never in all my years of school got to stay home because of cold weather!

Now I’m not insensitive. I know that kids have to walk and wait for buses. But I know the real scoop. These poor, tender, freezing children do not stay in the house and bundle up under the covers. You know where they go? They walk to the library! These same children who couldn’t go to school manage to brave the weather to go to their local hangout spot. The library is the new mall where kids go to socialize, flirt with each other, and check their Facebook accounts. Wait, are the kiddos still using that? Maybe they’ve moved on to Instagram and Vine. As a librarian, I knew to expect children and teens flooding through the doors whenever there was a snow day. These kids can handle a little cold. We did and we survived! No frostbite or anything!

You know what else? (Since I’m on my grumpy old person rant.) We didn’t need a billion things to entertain us on car trips! I swear, I can’t stand it when my kids are whining about how bored they are after 10 minutes in the car.  Kids now need iPads, iPhones, car DVD players and who knows what else that I don’t know about just to get through a visit to the store! God forbid it’s a several hour drive. You know what I did for entertainment? I looked out of the window. Sometimes played Eye Spy or Spot the Car. Maybe a game of Tic Tac Toe. Do children still use paper and pen? Or has typing totally replaced writing?

Every generation shakes their collective heads at the new generation coming up behind them. It’s my duty. I may not win the battle of not raising entitled children. They will still see their friends and associates and want and expect what they have. But I will continue to do my best to make them earn things and work for what they want. They will do chores and help out around the house without the expectation of rewards. They will not get a thousand things for Christmas and birthdays. And they will learn to appreciate the value of a dollar, the way I did. And if one of them demands new shoes for a Halloween costume ever again, I will make them go Trick or Treating as a spooky ghost. Pillow case bag and all.

Featured image by Ludovic Bertron.